Press Release From The Campaign Of Todd:

As many of you know, I have chosen to run for President Of The United States Of America with the campaign slogan: I Like Cheese. Many of you have warmly embraced my candidacy and given me not only your support, but cheese. For that I am eternally thankful. 

But the amount of campaigning and cheese I have indulged in of late has left me with medical complications I must attend to. Therefore I am regretfully announcing my withdrawal from the 2020 Presidential contest. I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who invested their time, their energy, their cheese, and pettings these last few months.

In light of my withdrawal from the race, I would like to throw my weight (which by now, thanks to all the cheese I've had access to, is considerable) behind James Rozoff. 

As you know, dogs are impeccable judges of character. I can honestly say from everything I've been able to learn about him that he truly does suck less than the other candidates. Furthermore, as he is from the Dairy State and more than a bit cheesey, I feel he best represents my "I Like Cheese" platform.

But even more than this, I feel he best represents dogs and animals in general. While I have never met President Trump in person, I find myself barking wildly at the television every time he is on, though I rarely indulge in such behavior. As for Vice President Joe Biden...well, let's just say that it is a dog's job to sniff people, not his.

I support Rozoff for president because he is anti-war and dogs suffer every bit as much as humans do when the bombs start falling. War is an assault on nature, and being a dog I can't help feeling I have a greater appreciation for nature than humans do (although I like couches and squeaky toys, don't get me wrong). Furthermore, I am tired of my fellow canines being drafted into the army with no say and being place in harms way to fight wars that are instigated by humans and have nothing to do with us dogs. 

Similarly, Mr. Rozoff seeks to demilitarize police and legalize marijuana. Once again, dogs are being used as pawns in the authoritarian games of humans for the purpose of crowd control and snitching on humans who happen to engage in drug use. Dogs have more important things to do with their lives. Like eating cheese.

In fact, in all ways, Mr. Rozoff would be a preferable candidate for dogs and other animals. He is an environmentalist and will do everything in his power to protect endangered species and create safe places for dogs to roam. And as much as I like cheese, I would be willing to eat a little more peanut butter and less dairy products if it meant my cow friends were treated more kindly and not raised in incanane factory farms. 

Once again, I would like to thank all of you who have supported my campaign, and would like to remind you that while I am no longer in contention for the presidency of the United States Of America, you can still send me cheese.

Rozoff 2020: He Sucks Less And Gives Good Pettin's. Seriously, he knows that spot right behind my ear that's even better than cheese. 

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